www.doublecheck-availability.blogspot.com

How come when i used Mozilla to view it,
it's different from Internet Explorer.
Weird.
Can anyone tell me how does it look like,
especially the scroll-down black column part.

I didn't contact you for 2 days, you kept messaging me telling me that just a message from me would make you feel better. You tweeted all those stuffs & made me think that you really missed me. I contacted you back after 2 days. If i've not pulled myself out from that trap, i wouldn't have contacted you back. Make it clear, I pulled MYSELF out WITHOUT ANY HELPING HANDS FROM YOU. I thought you've changed, i thought you've specifically thought through every issues, i was totally wrong, totally wrong. I won't mention what you did, because i know you won't want people to know. But please think, i'm not a toy that allow you to grab it back, & hit it on the ground hardly. Stop playing with my feelings. You were so sweet with your texts when i was away & not contacting you. After i've got back, your texts were totally despicable. " Nb, Cb, Orh, Ok etc " What do you want from me, seriously i need to know. Because i don't wna fall into your trap again & again. You told me you don't want me to slack with any other girls, ok i stopped since yesterday, i stayed at home, even when my cousin called me out, i refused. Why do i have to do all these? Just plainly because i knew that there will be a way out for us. But you proved me wrong totally. You could even go meet up your whoever with your friend. Have you ever think about me, or especially yourself? You're making yourself in a unworthy state. You're making me think that it's wrong to have contacted you again, to have loved you again, to have to miss you again, to have to need you again. When can you ever change, how much time alone, or how much efforts alone, I have to spend to wait for the change in you. We were supposed to meet at 10 2 days ago. In the end? You went to club, with your friends & even guys, without even informing me that you're going there & you're throwing away our meet-up. I have no idea of what am i supposed to say anymore. So many souls are asking me to give you up, i refused because i know i can't. & You ? Happily wandering off with your life, with your sweet talks to me, yet I cannot see any single change in you. I need someone here for me, but you're not. That's why i looked up for my cousin, Venus. Even a cousin, you can even scold me for meeting her up, for telling her all things that were bothering me. If you want to isolate me in such a lonely soul, just tell me. You don't have to isolate yourself from me, & even isolate me from my cousin. If you're saying that i'm unfair, then what about you? Yesterday, you wanted me to delete my facebook's girl-friends. I deleted instantly, i thought after i deleted them, you'll feel happier & treat me in a better way. Who knows the next day, you're treating me like a total stranger, messaging me like i'm not a living soul. I've got feelings, i've got my own pride, my own dignity, my own courage. But why do i have to pull down every single one of my own values for you, when you're not even doing a part for this relationship? I don't know what to say, nor what to do, you've broken up my heart into millions pieces, or even zillions i should say. Yet, i'm still hanging there. I don't know whether to say myself stupid, or foolish, or strong, or determined. You're making me so confused. Like a lone wondering in a space where there is no one there for me, where there is no one there for me to hold on to. No one will know how much i've gone through, because i've never shared everything with anyone before. Yes, you've gone through a lot too, but you will always find someone to share with like, Judy, Kimberly and other friends. But why i cannot share with anyone? I don't know what to say. I don't know why i've to defend you in every issues even. I've already reached or even gone beyond my own limit, to be so confused whether to really let everything go & do all my own stuffs, or to pin on to these little little hopes.

Went to Town yesterday, caught the Nightmare at the Elm street. Quite horrifying tho. Nice, but not very nice. Hahaha, dk what i'm talking. Not bad, recommended ! M18 ! Too bad for those not qualified to do so ! lol , kidding. Went to Concorde Hotel after that, had a few bottles of drinks then headed off to YewTee and looked for friends. Headed home around 6 plus.

Love and electricity are one in the same, my dear. If you do not feel the jolt in your soul every time a kiss is shared, a whisper is
spoken, a touch is felt, then your not really in love at all.

As for yesterday, woke up around 1 then 3 plus decided to go Timah for pool, went with Vincent, AnXiu & ZiQiang & JunHong. Until 8 plus, moved over to YewTee to meet up the rest. Went back home around 5 in the morning. As for today, woke up late in the afternoon around 3 plus, then headed to meet Jackson, Benson, ZhiYong, YiXian, Nicholas, YiXian's girlf, then don't know his name & his, don't know her name & hers as well & Venus. Off to Jurong Safra for K-session then to JP for dinner. Went back home at 10.

I do my thing and you do yours. I am not in this world to live up to your expectations, and you are not in this world to live up to mine. You are you and I am I, and if by chance we find each other, then it is beautiful. If not, it can't be helped.

Steven is lazy to update his blog. So here i am helping hym to post. He is busy thinking why chicken cannot fly and why bats can fly. Cause he is too bored :) ok end here le, bye bye

Liar, liar, pants on fire.
& You're the very one of them.
& You made me feel so sorry for what i've done to her.

Withered love.

I wish I knew what you were thinking
by that I would know what you really feel,
I wish I could read your mind
so that I would know I’m no where inside,
I wish I could make you understand
that it was not just a one night stand,
I wish that I could cause the moon to light the world with love,
Remove the clouds a moment to reveal the stars above,
I wish that you could wipe me that rolling tear from the corner of my eye,
bring happiness to my sorrow,
I wish that just once you could bring me my lost smile,
I wish that I could better things right from the very start.

You always want to have what you wanted.
You always asked from me, pleasing me to let you go for it.
Have you not seen how much i've tired to let you have what you want?
You want to go for photoshooting, i refused to let you go.
& What happened in the end?
I still paid partly for you, & let you go for it.
You said you want to go for modelling, i refused.
& In the end? The same thing happened too.
I've yet to swallow everything again.
You don't appreciate, you don't learn from your mistakes, you don't know that i'm trying my very best here.
You want love, you want concern, you want care, i tried giving, didn't i ?
I tried avoiding quarrels, these few days.
But you don't seem to be cooperating, you're scolding me, blaming me as & when you like.
I feel like a fool.
Everyday the same incidents came to my mind.
People betrayed you, by telling me what you did behind me,
but only a days, you could forgive him and talk to him in a way which is so much better than the way you talked to me.
I don't know what you're treating me as.
When we're together, you told people we're not.
You told that guy we've broke up, calling him all sorts of names which you used to call me.
& Yet denied when i first asked you, you sweared.
& With a swear, you could even lie.
& After that incident, you could actually blame me for not trusting you in certain things.
I'm a human, i got my dignity, i got my limit on my beliefs on others.
You don't seem to understand.
You made yourself so free to do all sorts of wrong things,
yet at the same time, you wanted me to trust you.
How on earth i'm supposed to do it?
Have you forgotten all the lies you gave me in the past?
Have you forgotten how many times and how much efforts i've put in & now i'm still here, with you?
Yes, i admit i've did wrong things too, but i've never did anything to make you feel that there's any third party in our relationship.
You don't need me like how you did in the past.
" You are the strength, that keep me walking.
You are the hope, that keep me trusting.
You are the light to my soul.
You're my everything.
Since the day you pick me up from darkness,
i knew you're my forever.
I promise you.
i'm always there,
when your heart is filled with sorrows and despairs.
I love you every single days. every single minutes, every single breath, no one could tear us apart.
I'll always remember the day you hold my hands,
My love for you is still as strong and never changing (:
No way any other guy can replace you.
Thanks for the happiness, the tears, the love, the kisses, the quarrels, the hugs, the forgiveness you've gave me the past 2 months.
Because of all that mentioned, it was what built the us now.
Baby, i love you!!"
Have you forgotten all you told me ?
Or these were just jokes for me at the end of the day?
Here i'm crying,
i don't need your sympathy,
i don't need your concern,
i don't need your care,
worst of all, i don't need your love,
anymore.
Because i know i won't force you to.
But at the very least, can i have just a little portion of your heart that belongs to me ? ):

Cousins' outing today ! So fast past already. Sad leys. Meet up soon again! (:

There are times when
I cant decide whether to see you or not,
I want to see you because I miss you
but there are times when I don't want to see you
because every time I do,
the fact that you don't see me
the way that I see you hurts me even more.

Happy Birthday Grandpa !





Ok, stayed at home for the whole day until around 6 plus, prepared myself & went over to Grandparents' house for a gathering dinner celebration for Grandpa's birthday. Very glad to see all my family members back. Had dinner together then crapped around. Haha, quite some topics we chatted. Oh well, slowly one by one left as some got school tomorrow & of course work. Headed back home around 11 plus (:

On the day we said goodbye i didn't know how much i'm gonna miss you, i'm about to lose myself in promises i can't keep. Girl, i'm traveling round the world, i hope that i can find you now, believe that time will tell somehow. Please tell me where you are, no place can be too far today. I raise my hands for you and pray. In my city of hope the streets are empty, hope the time will tell how i burn, for you.

When you love, there's no such thing as loving a little, but loving all the way.
Love may not ask you to give up your life, but it will require lots of sacrifices.

But, did you know that?

The decision to kiss for the first time is the most crucial in any love story.
It changes the relationship of two people much more strongly than even the final surrender. Because this kiss already has within it that surrender.

& what I really need, is a girl to be there for me, with all her will,
whose kisses are there when i need them,
whose hugs are there when i need them,
whose love is truly shown,
& not to hurt me throughout.
That's it.
Goodnight.

It hurts to say goodbye to the person you almost gave your life to.
Knowing that life won't be the same w/o them.
But its better to give up the feeling.
Rather than to know you're the only one fighting.

巳经习惯了,一个看不到的天空



Such a long day. Haha. Yesterday woke up around 9 plus in the morning then headed to Greenridge to have my breakfast. After that came back Fajar to rot. Haha. Met Vincent & cos at night then went over to help my brother with his homework. Went home prepared then went spending our night out. Spent a load :/

Woke up around 9 plus in the morning then headed over to Plaza to meet Vincent & co's. Had my lunch then walked around Plaza. Nothing to do at all. Went library to chill a lil then headed to Fajar & played soccer. Around evening went back home. Going to sleep soon ! Tired, not working tonight (:

Half-way footsteps.



Would you just listen and please don't say a word, just yet,
I'd like you to think back to the very first time we met,
How you felt around me? The memories we shared,
And just remember that once upon a time, you really cared.

Now think about how we parted, and how much I cried,
But please don't speak, remember that I never ever lied,
That I told you the honest truth about why we were to split,
But now I'd like you to know that my heart broke bit by bit.

The pain was deep, unbearable and painful, for so many years,
I'll never forget all the sadness, all the uncontrollable tears,
Slowly I am rebuilding my life, I am content with what I've got,
And although it is hard I am beginning to forget what I have not.

You were a special part of my life that I will never forget,
A part of my life that broke my heart, but that I don't regret,
You gave me some happy memories that I'll keep in my heart,
Although sometimes I wish that you and I didn't have to part.

You were my first love and my true love, that will always be so,
After all of the heartache, sadness and never ending pain, I know,
You and I had something special and that will never change,
Because I love you and loving someone else will always seem strange.

Would you just listen and please don't say a word, not ever,
I'd like you to remember that once upon a time, we said forever,
That I had hopes and dreams, that I was the one who threw them away.

& I hope what i did was right.