I didn't contact you for 2 days, you kept messaging me telling me that just a message from me would make you feel better. You tweeted all those stuffs & made me think that you really missed me. I contacted you back after 2 days. If i've not pulled myself out from that trap, i wouldn't have contacted you back. Make it clear, I pulled MYSELF out WITHOUT ANY HELPING HANDS FROM YOU. I thought you've changed, i thought you've specifically thought through every issues, i was totally wrong, totally wrong. I won't mention what you did, because i know you won't want people to know. But please think, i'm not a toy that allow you to grab it back, & hit it on the ground hardly. Stop playing with my feelings. You were so sweet with your texts when i was away & not contacting you. After i've got back, your texts were totally despicable. " Nb, Cb, Orh, Ok etc " What do you want from me, seriously i need to know. Because i don't wna fall into your trap again & again. You told me you don't want me to slack with any other girls, ok i stopped since yesterday, i stayed at home, even when my cousin called me out, i refused. Why do i have to do all these? Just plainly because i knew that there will be a way out for us. But you proved me wrong totally. You could even go meet up your whoever with your friend. Have you ever think about me, or especially yourself? You're making yourself in a unworthy state. You're making me think that it's wrong to have contacted you again, to have loved you again, to have to miss you again, to have to need you again. When can you ever change, how much time alone, or how much efforts alone, I have to spend to wait for the change in you. We were supposed to meet at 10 2 days ago. In the end? You went to club, with your friends & even guys, without even informing me that you're going there & you're throwing away our meet-up. I have no idea of what am i supposed to say anymore. So many souls are asking me to give you up, i refused because i know i can't. & You ? Happily wandering off with your life, with your sweet talks to me, yet I cannot see any single change in you. I need someone here for me, but you're not. That's why i looked up for my cousin, Venus. Even a cousin, you can even scold me for meeting her up, for telling her all things that were bothering me. If you want to isolate me in such a lonely soul, just tell me. You don't have to isolate yourself from me, & even isolate me from my cousin. If you're saying that i'm unfair, then what about you? Yesterday, you wanted me to delete my facebook's girl-friends. I deleted instantly, i thought after i deleted them, you'll feel happier & treat me in a better way. Who knows the next day, you're treating me like a total stranger, messaging me like i'm not a living soul. I've got feelings, i've got my own pride, my own dignity, my own courage. But why do i have to pull down every single one of my own values for you, when you're not even doing a part for this relationship? I don't know what to say, nor what to do, you've broken up my heart into millions pieces, or even zillions i should say. Yet, i'm still hanging there. I don't know whether to say myself stupid, or foolish, or strong, or determined. You're making me so confused. Like a lone wondering in a space where there is no one there for me, where there is no one there for me to hold on to. No one will know how much i've gone through, because i've never shared everything with anyone before. Yes, you've gone through a lot too, but you will always find someone to share with like, Judy, Kimberly and other friends. But why i cannot share with anyone? I don't know what to say. I don't know why i've to defend you in every issues even. I've already reached or even gone beyond my own limit, to be so confused whether to really let everything go & do all my own stuffs, or to pin on to these little little hopes.